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How to Talk to Your Kids About Big Emotions

by Kate Thompson

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In my suburban Midwest home, raising a six-year-old fireball and an equally exuberant two-year-old can feel like wrestling with little bundles of dynamite primed to explode. I’m sure many of you moms know exactly what I mean! Big emotions often seem to show up at the most inconvenient times, don’t they? But let’s face it—helping our kids navigate those ups and downs is a vital part of parenting. If you’re like me, you’re searching for ways to talk to your kids about those big emotions without turning every car ride into a therapy session. Here’s what I’ve found helpful in this whirlwind journey of motherhood.

What Are Big Emotions, Anyway?

Have you ever had one of those days where your perfectly planned grocery trip descends into tantrum territory because the cart doesn’t have a working wheel? Think of our kids and how that might feel when all of the emotions get tangled up inside them. Their frustrations make sense, and sometimes they just don’t have the words to express them. As moms, recognizing that those meltdowns are really just “big emotions” speaking can shift our approach from immediate discipline to understanding.

Create a Safe Space for Feelings

Before we dive into any serious talks, it’s important to create an environment where your little ones feel safe and comfortable sharing their feelings. Trust me, finding calm when your toddler draws on the walls yet again is no small feat. But showing empathy and curiosity about why they did it makes a powerful statement. Try asking, “I see you’re upset; do you want to tell me why?” You’ll be surprised at how much they’ll trust you when they know it’s okay to express themselves.

The Power of Playful Scenarios

Who says talking about feelings can’t be creative and fun? When my son was grappling with his emotions, I used stories and playful scenarios involving his favorite toy dinosaurs. We’d act out how a dino might feel if another dino accidentally knocked over its block tower. Books and play are terrific ways to help your kids understand and label their emotions in a way that’s both relatable and engaging.

Name That Emotion

Labeling emotions can empower your children to recognize what they’re feeling. My six-year-old loves our “Feelings Chart,” where we use colorful magnets to identify different emotions. It morphed into a daily ritual where we check in on how everyone is feeling. Empowering our kids to express emotions means giving them vocabulary and understanding, and this small step has made a big difference in our family dynamics.

Encourage Expressive Outlets

Feelings need a release, and sometimes words alone don’t cut it. Encourage your children to express themselves through drawing, dancing, or any other creative outlet. Last weekend, we went finger-painting in the backyard—a colossal mess but also a fantastic way to express a variety of feelings with a splash of color. Expressive activities can be great at helping kids process what they feel internally.

Be a Role Model

As challenging as it can be when you’re running on little sleep or dealing with your own stresses, how you handle your emotions sets the bar for your children. Modeling calmness during challenging moments teaches resilience. It’s okay to admit when you’re feeling overwhelmed; being honest about your own big emotions helps your kids feel more comfortable with theirs.

Celebrate the Wins

After all the effort, don’t forget to celebrate the little victories. Maybe your child used their words instead of screams, or perhaps they calmed down on their own after a short cool-down. Celebrate those moments—no matter how small. Focusing on the positives reinforces learning and boosts their confidence in managing emotions.

A Heartfelt Reminder

Motherhood is a wild ride filled with joy and challenges. Each step towards understanding and talking about big emotions with our children fosters stronger bonds and helps equip them with the tools they need for life. So, the next time you’re elbow-deep in laundry or searching for the lost shoe that holds the key to leaving the house, know that you are doing an amazing job. Keep going, momma, your little ones are watching and learning from you every step of the way! 💪❤️

Remember, we’re all in this together—building a community where every mom feels seen, supported, and inspired! 🌟

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