5 Things I Said I’d Never Do as a Mom… and Totally Do Now

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Before I became a mom, I had a list in my head… a mental manifesto of things I swore I would never do.

I had ideas about the kind of parent I would be, and let me tell you, pre-mom me was delusional.

She was full of certainty, standing on her wobbly soapbox built from sleep and personal space.

She had opinions.

Then I had a baby.

And motherhood? It cracked me open. It rearranged me. It took that neat little list and set it on fire while laughing in my face.

Here are five things I swore up and down I’d never do as a mom… and yet, here we are.

1. I Said I’d Never Let My Kid Watch Too Much Screen Time

Oh, the arrogance.

The smugness.

The naïve belief that my child would grow up surrounded by wooden Montessori toys, running barefoot in the grass, blissfully unaware that Bluey or Ms. Rachel even existed.

And then I had a baby who refused to sleep.

I had a toddler who could somehow function at full capacity on three hours of rest while I felt like I was decaying from the inside out.

I had days where the sheer exhaustion made my bones ache.

So yes, I gave in.

I let my child watch more TV than I ever thought I would.

Sometimes, I needed a moment to breathe. Sometimes, I just wanted to drink my coffee while it was still hot.

And you know what? He’s fine. He’s thriving.

He’s still imaginative, still curious, and yes, he can name all the Paw Patrol pups.

I’ve made my peace with it.

2. I Said I’d Never Be That Mom Who Bribes Her Kid

Listen.

I thought I’d have a child who simply listened because I would be the kind of calm, wise mother who instilled respect through gentle and meaningful conversations.

Reality check: My child is a tiny, chaotic force of nature who does not care about my deep life lessons when he just wants to run full speed through the grocery store.

So, yeah, I bribe him.

I carry snacks like they’re currency. I have whispered, “If you let me buckle your car seat without a fight, I’ll give you a cookie when we get home.”

I have dangled the promise of ice cream just to get through Target without a meltdown.

I have paid off my child to survive the day.

And you know what? It works.

3. I Said I’d Never Yell

I was going to be the patient, gentle mom.

The kind who never raised her voice.

I was going to be so emotionally regulated that my child would feel my calm energy and naturally match it.

That’s adorable.

Because in reality? I yell.

Not all the time, not out of cruelty, but out of pure human overwhelm.

I yell when my kid is about to run into the street. I yell when I’ve asked him twelve times to put on his shoes and he’s still acting like he doesn’t know what “shoes” are.

I yell when I feel like I’m drowning, when I’m overstimulated, when I’ve reached the end of whatever patience reserve I started the day with.

And every time, I feel guilty.

I feel like I failed. I wonder if I’ve done some permanent damage.

But then I apologize. I hold my child. I show him that grown-ups make mistakes too.

That we can repair, that love is still here, even after the storm.

And maybe that matters more than perfection ever could.

4. I Said I’d Never Let My House Be Taken Over by Toys

Oh, sweet summer child.

I was convinced that I could maintain a minimalist aesthetic while also raising a child. I thought I’d have just a handful of well-chosen, open-ended toys.

A beautiful, curated space where every object sparked creativity and joy.

And now?

Now my living room looks like a toy factory exploded.

There are cars in my couch cushions.

There are Legos in places where Legos should never be.

My kitchen is overrun with half-finished art projects, my floor is a graveyard of tiny plastic dinosaurs, and my coffee table is now a parking garage for toy trucks.

At some point, I just gave up. I surrendered.

My home is not a Pinterest board. It’s a living, breathing, kid-filled space.

And one day, when the toys are gone, I know I’ll miss the chaos.

5. I Said I’d Never Lose Myself in Motherhood

This one hurts the most.

I thought I’d be different.

I thought I’d hold onto the version of myself that existed before motherhood.

That I’d still be creative, still have time for my art, still see my friends, still take care of myself.

But then life happened.

And the truth is, I did lose myself.

Not all at once, but slowly. In the sleepless nights.

In the constant giving. In the endless cycle of diapers and tantrums and laundry and wiping the same counter a thousand times a day.

I forgot who I was outside of being “Mom.”

And some days, that loss feels like grief. Some days, I miss the freedom, the me I used to be.

But—and this is the important part—I’m finding my way back.

Motherhood changed me, but it didn’t erase me. I’m still here, underneath it all.

And maybe I won’t ever be the same, but maybe that’s okay.

Maybe this version of me—the one shaped by love and exhaustion and deep, soul-crushing devotion—is someone worth knowing, too.

Motherhood Humbles You

I used to think I knew what kind of mom I would be.

But motherhood isn’t a test you can study for, and it sure as hell doesn’t care about your plans.

So now? I try to let go of expectations.

I try to be gentler with myself. I try to accept that I am doing my best, even on the days when my best feels like a mess.

And if that means I bribe my kid, or let him watch TV, or trip over a sea of toys every time I walk through my own house—so be it.

Because at the end of the day, my son doesn’t need a perfect mom.

He just needs me.