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There are some movies from childhood that you remember as good but don’t fully understand until you watch them again as an adult.
Then there are movies like My Girl—the ones that absolutely wreck you once you become a parent.
I hadn’t seen My Girl in years, but I remembered the basics: a quirky, independent girl named Vada Sultenfuss growing up in the ‘70s, her best friend Thomas J., and that one devastating moment that had every kid crying in the early ‘90s.
But when I recently rewatched it as a mom, I wasn’t just sad…I was undone.
This movie isn’t just about childhood friendship and loss.
It’s about grief, growing up, and the things kids feel but don’t have the words to say.
Watching it as a parent made me realize how much I missed when I was younger, and honestly? It changed the way I look at my own kids.
1. Vada’s Loneliness Is Painful to Watch as a Mom
As a kid, I related to Vada’s adventurous spirit and her love for Thomas J.
But as a mom, all I could see was a little girl desperately searching for love and validation.
- She’s growing up in a funeral home, surrounded by death every day.
- Her dad, Harry, isn’t a bad father, but he’s emotionally distant—stuck in his own world, dealing with grief the only way he knows how.
- Her mom died when she was born, and no one really talks about it with her.
- She idolizes her (very unavailable) teacher and fakes illnesses just to get some kind of attention.
I wanted to reach through the screen and hug her. To tell her, “You’re allowed to feel sad. You don’t have to be strong all the time.”
But the heartbreaking truth is, how many kids feel like this today?
How many kids experience big emotions but don’t have the words—or the safe space—to express them?
Watching Vada struggle with loneliness made me realize just how important it is to check in with our kids, even when they seem fine.
2. The Way Adults Dismiss Vada’s Feelings Feels So Real
One of the hardest things to watch as a parent is how the adults in Vada’s life dismiss her emotions—not intentionally, but in that “you’re just a kid, you’ll be fine” kind of way.
She’s literally obsessed with death, constantly convinced she’s sick, and what do the adults do?
They brush it off as a phase.
They don’t realize that this little girl is living with unprocessed grief—that her fixation on death isn’t just morbid curiosity, it’s her way of trying to understand loss.
And again… how often do we do this to our kids?
- When they’re upset over something that seems small to us, do we ever say, “It’s not a big deal, you’re fine”?
- When they have fears that seem irrational, do we tell them, “Don’t worry about that”?
- When they get emotional, do we ever assume it’s just “drama” instead of a real feeling that they need help working through?
Watching My Girl reminded me how important it is to listen to our kids, even when what they’re feeling doesn’t make sense to us.
Their emotions are big to them, and they deserve to be heard.
3. The Relationship Between Vada and Her Dad Feels All Too Familiar
Harry Sultenfuss isn’t a terrible dad.
He provides for Vada. He loves her. But he also has no idea how to connect with her emotionally.
For most of the movie, he’s wrapped up in his own world—his work, his new relationship, his own grief.
And Vada? She’s left to figure out her feelings alone.
As a kid, I didn’t think much about this dynamic. But as a parent, I saw it in a whole new way.
How many times do we get so busy, with work, responsibilities, stress that we miss what’s happening right in front of us?
I don’t think Harry ever meant to ignore Vada’s emotions. I don’t think he realized how much she needed him.
And that’s the part that got me because how often do we, as parents, get so caught up in our own stuff that we miss what’s happening in our kids’ hearts?
4. That Scene. You Know the One.
I thought I was prepared.
I wasn’t.
The moment when Vada finds out about Thomas J.? I physically couldn’t handle it.
The rawness.
The way she screams, “He can’t see without his glasses!”
The way she finally, finally lets out all the grief she’s been carrying—not just for Thomas J., but for everything she’s ever lost.
It hit so much harder as a mom because I could feel her pain in a way I never did before.
And I couldn’t stop thinking about what I’d do if my own child ever had to face something like that.
How do you hold a child through unimaginable loss?
How do you help them grieve when you’re grieving, too?
How do you make them feel safe when their world has been shattered?
It’s every parent’s nightmare to see your child in pain and not be able to fix it.
5. The Ending Feels Different as a Mom
When I was younger, the ending of My Girl didn’t really stand out. But as an adult, I see how much growth happens in those final scenes.
- Harry finally acknowledges his daughter’s pain and shows up for her emotionally.
- Vada begins to heal—not because the pain is gone, but because she’s finally able to talk about it.
- Life moves forward, as painful as it is, and somehow, we keep going.
It’s a message that resonates so deeply as a parent.
We can’t shield our kids from pain.
We can’t make life perfect for them.
But we can be there. We can help them through it. We can remind them that, even after the worst moments, life doesn’t stop—and neither does love.
Final Thoughts: ‘My Girl’ Is the Parenting Movie We Didn’t Realize We Needed
If you haven’t rewatched My Girl since becoming a parent, do it—but prepare yourself.
Because it’s not just a childhood movie anymore.
It’s a gut-wrenching reminder of how much kids feel, even when they don’t have the words.
It’s a wake-up call to be more present, to listen more, to pay attention to the emotions that are easy to overlook.
And most of all, it’s proof that love doesn’t prevent loss—but it does help us survive it.
So yeah, I ugly-cried.
But I also walked away wanting to hug my kids a little tighter, listen a little more closely, and remind them every single day that their feelings matter. 💛
